Merry Christmas

I suppose it would be an unfair division of labor if I were to make Jak write all of these. On the other hand, as I write this Jak is in the kitchen making bread for today, but I suppose we all must use our talents as we see fit.
Christmas has been especially pretty this year, as in Bavaria it has been snowing on and off for the past 3 weeks, in fact it is snowing as I write this. Thank God for a white Christmas! The Army is generous and we have a 4 day off for Christmas, Wednesday was our last day of work for the week. Now idle time is well known to cause hands to populate with little devils, so the manly men consisting of myself, Ted, Sam and Mike decided that we had to start off the break with a bit of off road adventure. Thursday morning saw us all kissing our wives goodbye (except Mike, poor guy his Fiance is still back in the states) to go off into the woods in search of adventure. In true us style, we all forgot our cameras to document the adventures, so you will have to use your imagination. We started off in the woods that run along the fence line of post, where Jesus demonstrated how truly awesome a Land Rover is. I led with Sam providing running commentary, and we took every trail that we could make, with the exception of one trail that is beyond even the power of the Landy when covered in snow. Now I could narrate every turn and trail, but I suppose we will hit the highlights.
Now the second part of the adventure of offroading requires a caveat, namely Germans cannot drive. While not as reckless as the Italians, they seem to be permanently stuck in the first snowfall of the year lack of driving ability. This was driven home to us (punny I know!) when about 2 kilometers down a forest track we encountered a local national in her Audi A3. For those unfamiliar with the particular vehicle, it has all of the off road capability of a Ford Focus, so she was of course stuck. Imagine the expression of mild terror as 4 young Americans dismount their vehicles, but in short order she was much happier as we actually had an idea of how to get her out. With the cobination of Ted's, hmmmm "liberated" HMMWV tow strap and the unstoppable power of a LT77 Gearbox tied with a low transfer case and a locked differential we had her out in short order and were all backing down the trail to the entrance. While Jak may be an excellent driver in reverse, this woman was rather a worse example of the capabilities of the fairer sex, as she managed to get stuck 3 more times as she would swerve into the ditch while backing up. We eventually did complete the rescue and she was very grateful and even offered money. If this whole Army thing doesn't work out, I can always deliver mail and rescue cars.
The other part of our adventure was the discovery of a partially eaten wild boar head. Of course we had to bring it home and mount it on Sam's fence post, to scare off the Soldiers who use our neighborhood as a shortcut to the bars. Michaela (his wife) did not find it as cool, and it lasted about 30 minutes before going to the dumpster.
4 Days are not all mindless fun adventures, Jak and I also did some last minute shopping for a Yankee Swap (called by southerners a "Dirty Santa") and did battle with elderly Bavarians at the butcher to gain what we thought was tenderloin roast, but instead ended up as wild boar. I have to wonder if we once had its' head, but the chances are slim. Christmas dinner was the two of us while Tom surfed the counter for scraps we had inadvertently left within paw strike of our fat cat. We also attended midnight mass where we heard this Christmas Gem:
Santa was having a bad Christmas, it started when right after Thanksgiving when Mrs Claus put him on a diet, as his big red suit was not quite big enough. Then, the flu hit the workshop and half of his elves were on quarters for 2 weeks. Then, a week before the big day the Reindeer got into the fermented milk and cookies and Rudolph and Prancer broke their hooves walking home. If the OPREP for that wasn't bad enough, because the loadmaster elf was still on quarters, his secondary had to take over and he messed up his plans on ALPS, and the sleigh was loaded incorrectly, causing the landing skid to crack. Santa was in his office trying to figure out how to get the presents to their targets, when there was a knock on the door. It was an angel with a Christmas tree, and the angel said to Santa "I am the Christmas tree angel, I am supposed to go around giving these out to everyone, where do you want me to shove this?" For Santa, it was the last straw and he said "YOU CAN SHOVE IT. . ." And that is how we get the tradition of having a angel on top of the tree.
I thought it was funny.
Jak and I opened our presents this morning, with much help from the cats. We miss everyone very much, and apologize for this rather disjointed entry.
Merry Christmas!