WTF mate?

So Frank is offended. Very offended. Poor Frank has very long hair, and occasionally, when using the litter box he gets a bit dirty. Well, not dirty, just has some .....remnants....sticking to the fur around his bottom. Having dropped Nate's parents off at the airport this morning, things were quiet in the house. Well, they were quiet until we decided it was a good idea to throw our new kitty into the tub. We had no need to wash the whole cat, but just the rear area. I prepped for this by taking our the aroma-therapy calming lavender pet shampoo and turning on a gentle stream of warm, but not hot, water in the tub. It all started normally with the usually very pissed off cat clinging to my husband's shoulder for dear life. No surprises there. After wrestling a very squirmy critter into the water and trying to direct a spray towards his backside, we soon figured out that the particles were far too affixed, more like cemented, to the fur. I tried everything to break it up, including, but not limited to thoroughly molesting my cat. Never have I had my hand in such close proximity to my pet's balls for such a long period of time. All the while, Frank was pitifully meowing while Tom stood at the door chirruping a not-so-comforting "better you than me" sound. Eventually the molestation had to stop....out came the scissors. After what seemed like pounds of fur and fecal matter came of the ass end of the cat, Frank was finally clean. We put him on a towel, where he just looked at us with utter disgust. Tom took one look at Frank, with his half wet body, and just sat down and seemed to laugh. Poor Frank. But at least now he smells nice. By the way, aroma therapy for cats is a crock of shit!